Thursday, 29 September 2011

Climbing a Col and fighting off a nobber – Thursday 29 September 2011

It has been a big one today, Bucket man has managed a whopping 120 miles, including cycling across the Straits of Biarritz,  and did not finish pedalling until 9.15pm so did his ‘up and over’ the Col d’Ispeguy in the dark.  He has texted us a photo, but as it is photo of a mountain in the dark it could be anywhere, no sign of the pedaller in the picture.  He is currently holed up in Elizondo, on the N121B in Spain.

Martin is finally content with how his bike is working so can no longer blame it for his poor performance.  Apparently (and this may be horribly wrong but we had a mixture of bad connections and a noisy pub to contend with) he watched his wiggle going round (we are sure that is what was said) and worked out that a pin was half out of the chain.  This is where it gets surreal, we thought Martin said he found a nobber, and then sadly, the phone went dead.  What is a nobber we thought, is it Spanish for a robber and he has just been mugged in a phone box?  Is it a special tool for working on bike chains?  Once reconnected all became clear, he was saying another mechanic he had found who poked the pin back in so everything is now hunky dory.  Oh yes, the nobber was French, and located some 25 miles north of Bayonne – phew, glad we sorted out that potential misunderstanding.
Just remembered, Martin has managed to text us two photos, including the dark mountain one which frankly, is pretty dreary but sadly, we don’t have the magic lead with us to attach the phone to the computer so have no way of sharing  these with you yet.  Stand by on Sunday for a blog with extras.
He also had two punctures today and no involuntary dismounts.  Remember the little man with the big psi?  Well his big psi was his problem today, as he inched his way up a steep hill with too many psi his tyre blew up, hence the puncture, although tyre" blow up" and "puncture" don’t seem close in our thesaurus…
Bucket man spotted another dead red squirrel; it is difficult to imagine how he will be able to contain his excitement when he spots a live red squirrel!  His heart monitor is working so he is definitely not dead but he is proud that he did an 8 km (those dratted kms again) climb over his 700m high mountain, which seems more of big hill to us. No planned route tomorrow, but he is skirting around Pamplona avoiding any rampaging bulls.  General plan is to head for Gibraltar.
As you can tell it was quite late as I crested the Col d'Ispeguy!
Over and out.
Canal sub blog:  New crew member joined this morning, lots of locks, lots of sun, lots of wine and spirits due to very low yard arm. Now moored outside the Shroppie Fly public house in Audlem.

Dead squirrel spotted – hold the front page. Wednesday 28 September 2011

Bucket man phoned in his report this evening with not much to report.  He is now 35km south of Bordeaux, why he has started reporting in kilometres after five days of miles is an unexplained mystery, and he tells us he has done 110 miles today, do you see the problem?  He is holed up in a place called Labauheyre,  which is a new one on us, never heard of the place. His hotel is called La Pasha, just by the motorway (handy) and he also says the menu de jeur yesterday was top drawer, well worth the 12 euro expense.  He has managed to get through another day without a McDonalds meal (we use the term “meal” loosely) so maybe has got over that particular compulsion. He does say his energy is flagging and maybe that is because he hasn’t had a hamburger, so he tucked into a plate of pasta and some indeterminate meat bits in Bordeaux to try and address his energy balance.
He has decided that he will not go into any cities in future, because he is incapable of finding his way out.  He blames poor signage, and reckons it took him 2 hours to escape Bordeaux’s clutches, we believe it is down to his incompetence in map reading.
As we said, it is a day of no news, but Martin has scratched his head and come up with three bits of information, namely 1) he saw his first red squirrel today, sadly it was a dead, squashed,  red squirrel but he knew what it was because it had little brown tail attached to the squashed bit – which he spotted just as he rode over it... 2) No bike mechanics in France are better than those in Nottingham, he has had 3 different mechanics working on his bike and none have managed to fix it, they all say it is fine where he reckons he knows differently.  Lastly, 3) he started whittering on about having an Ashes to Ashes moment, after expert questioning we established that what he really meant was that his heart monitor was kaput – i.e. his monitor was stating no heartbeat while obviously his heart was still beating or he wouldn’t be boring us with all this nonsense.
He is still promising  to be in Spain tomorrow.
Canal sub blog:  22 locks, about 12 miles travelled, one British Waterways incident involving a lock paddle which meant an hour’s hold up, 2 bottles of wine and more sun than you can shake a stick at = moderate sunburn. We are now in Market Drayton Hippodrome, a Weatherspoons pub on Thursday morning for breakie and WiFi - sorry we are late in posting yesterday's update, lack of enthusiasm last night was the problem.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Techie Tuesday – Tuesday 27 September 2011

Bucket man has taken Jill’s advice and decided to set off before breakfast – after all, what is the point of hanging round for a warmish croissant when you can be pedalling, so he hit the road at 8.00am.  “It’s dark before then” he reports, with a slight hint of wonderment in his voice. 
He has made excellent progress today, covering 112 miles in total, a trip record.  He has reached a place called Jonzac, a town near Cognac. Why he didn’t stay in Cognac and enjoy the local brew is a mystery, but then, as this is the man who chooses to eat Big Macs while in the gastronomic capital of Europe, we rest our case.
However, there was some faffing around with his bike, in a place called Niort.  Determined to find a bike shop (sorry, a “le velo magasin”, Martin’s French is very taxing…) he found yet another one that was shut. This one was attached to a Renault garage, and allegedly this harps back to his tedious Halfordsism – in that non Halfords aficionados claim that Halford just send out a car mechanic to fix bikes.  At this Renault garage, there really is a car mechanic who fixes bikes.  Sadly, he was on leave, leastways, not present, so Martin somehow managed to get access to his workstation to fiddle about with his gears.
This part of the story was so tedious we can hardly bear relate it, apparently his front derailleur big cog is connected to his rear derailleur little cog with the chain inbetween, something to do with the lower half of his cassette (what, where did that come from!) on his back and little rings, anyway, Martin is convinced that Sean, he of end to ender fame will understand immediately.   He droned on about some man in suit coming into the garage, and a lengthy discussion about the differences between psi (remember them from yesterday) and bar…  It went on and on, does he really think you lot will be interested in all this stuff,  we just want to hear about his involuntary dismounts and major disasters, not this boring old bike stuff, he will never get a film option at this rate.   Finally, the man in the suit, from a Renault garage, who may be a mechanic who fixes bikes, does have one essential skill – he can pump bike tyres to 120 psi – hurrah. 
Pressures sorted, the little man with the big psi pedalled to his hotel, Hotel 108, where he was delighted to find the menu de jeur, 3 courses, for a very reasonable 12 Euros.  For an extra 2 Euros he can have a glass of wine and a coffee, what a bargain!  He has managed to curb his Maccy Dee addiction problem today and went for a jambon et fromage baguette for lunch, at last, trying the local cuisine.   
It has been hot, so hot; he had an unplanned stop to buy sun tan lotion, much to his surprise.  He still needs to sort out his gear problems, so we suspect there will be more boring techie stuff to come.  On a positive note, he thinks he will reach Spain by Thursday so hola – we will switch to Spanish…

Introducing the Canal trip sub blog!!
We picked up our narrow boat at Swanley Bridge Marina, just below bridge 6 on the Llangollen canal.  Imagine our surprise when we found the boat was called Debbie, “pah” said Martin, “I bet it looks good on the outside and is crap on the inside”.  Many a true word is spoken in jest… We locked down the 4 Hurleston locks with assistance from the British Waterways lock keeper at the top, who was wearing a natty BW life jacket, and then chugged on to Nantwich where we are moored on an embankment above the town.  As we came into moor, Cadbury made an ill advised leap for the bank and had an involuntary swim so we are sharing a small space with a damp, smelly Labrador – oh joy!  Off to Market Drayton tomorrow, it is doubtful we will do more than 15 miles, we are not really competing with the manic pedaller, but are enjoying every minute of our trip!
All things being equal, and the comms working we will have another update tomorrow.

PS.  We had to trudge about a mile through desolate out of town Nantwich to find Wi Fi, now holed in up the fabulous Nakatcha bar - cripes - tonight is student night and the attractive barmaid tells us we have about 5 minutes to upload this before the bar crawling students arrive, gulp...  Assuming we survive, more to follow tomorrow. 





Monday, 26 September 2011

Mr Angry in Angers - Monday 26 September 2011

The day started so well, Martin was up and at ‘em by 8.50 am, cycling through the fog which seemed to cling to him so he quickly resembled a white cloud beetling down the road.  By 12.15pm  he was feeling peckish and looking for sustenance.  Dear reader, we are ashamed to say yet again Martin was seduced by the global McDonald’s brand and had another Big Mac – has he not seen the film "Supersize Me"?

Anyway, he had arrived in the delightful French city of Angers which among other things, is blessed with a tram system.  We say blessed, Martin would say cursed, as he slipped among the 2” wide tram tracks on his skinny 1” tyres.  As he tried to carefully negotiate the tram lines the queue of irate French cars built up behind him, honking merrily, so he tried to be a bit clever dickey and use BMX tricks to jump the tracks which resulted in a crashing collision with a kerb.  Immediately he felt that sinking feeling as his real wheel lost pressure and just knew he had a puncture.
Never mind he thought, I am in the middle of a city in a cycling mad country, no problemo.  For some reason he thought going into a gym would be the best place to start finding a cycle shop.  “Ou et le velo magasin?” he enquired in his best O level (or was it CSE) French. “Oh, you mean the bike shop” came the reply.  Of course, as he is in France, the shops are not only shut on Sunday, but apparently on Mondays as well so Martin had to not only fix the puncture himself but had to rely on his puny hand pump (ooh er missus!) to get 80-90 psi in his tyre, when he wants a full on 120 psi, only available at bike shops we understand.
Things just got worse; he set off and had to cross the Loire, that famous big river you find in the middle of France.  He got hopelessly lost and ended up cycling back and forth trying to find a bridge; still it was a nice sunny afternoon.
However, he has now checked in to another Logis de France (you know, the little hotels with the green sign showing a fire in a hearth) in Bressuire, a bargain at 49 euros.  Cycling total today a reasonably impressive 110 miles although he was aiming for a stonking 120, that Angers place scuppered his plans.
Sadly, your trusty reporting team are setting off on their own adventure tomorrow, chugging along the canal system in wildest Shropshire so a combination of a) few canal side pubs offering wi fi and b) almost no mobile coverage means reporting may be a bit sporadic  over the next couple of days, but we will do our best.  Our intrepid pedaller is also struggling to sort out his photo transmission – something to do with work phones and service providers, we rather lost interest – but hopes to get that sorted soon.
However, onwards and upwards, or as they say in France - “allez, allez, allez!”

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Unexpectedly hilly, but bolstered by Le Big Mac - Sunday 25 September 2011

Living Caen at 9am, Martin was sure that northern France was flat,  however, it is not, indeed it is very hilly…  He was joined by a young, local, whipper snapper who came alongside and uttered the immortal words “vous parlez francais?” before deciding to ride with Martin in the “Suisse Normande”.  Jelly legs Martin reports that he thought Devon and Cornwall were tough, but this northern France area made those areas seem very tame.  Up hill and down hill he pedalled, with the agreeable (and very fit) whipper snapper alongside, encouraging him along the way.  Martin particularly wanted Bob to be aware of the young Frenchman’s efforts, apparently he even came back down a hill to help Martin pedal to the top.
All these hills left our intrepid pedaller knackered by lunchtime, and for some reason, instead of a decent lunch in the land of decent lunches, Martin opted for the Golden Arches and got stuck into a Big Mac.  Not content with that, he tells us he also took 2 Cuprofen.  Not being very drug literate we had to look this one up, apparently it is a mixture of Neurofen and Codemol, which means little to us but we suspect it is designed for old fogeys who are doing too much and need some pharmaceutical help.   Martin tells us that after using these drugs the afternoon went much better, he claims it was flatter and he managed to reach Laval, some 100 miles covered since this morning.   He finished cycling at 6.00pm and has suddenly twigged that his unplanned ferry change has meant he is 25 miles further on than he had planned.
It was very hot today, around the mid twenties so Martin took to scrumping apples from orchards on his route as he did not have enough liquids, doing his bit to improve the entente cordiale – we think not. He blames France for closing down on a Sunday so that he was unable to buy water.
Tomorrow an early start is planned as he sets out for Angiers in the 23 degree heat.

Away with the Ferries - Saturday 24 September 2011

Up at dawn, Martin pedalled furiously to reach Newbury at 8.45 and then set off for Portsmouth and the ferry booked for 2.30pm.  However, nothing goes according to plan and those nice people at Brittany Ferries texted him to say his ferry had been cancelled so he needed to catch an alternative ferry going to Caen, which leaves at 1.45pm.  As we all know, Martin is world class in arriving late for things but catching the ferry was pretty key to the success of the trip.  He had a brief “tired and emotional” moment in Winchester, then swore loudly and fluently before getting on a train to Portsmouth so he caught the boat.
While on the boat he suddenly remembered he needed to set up a way of telling all his friends, family and other assorted followers about his progress so telephoned his trusty reporting team who were busy shopping in Nottingham.  He casually requested a full on, Sky News type operation, but was firmly told this blog was his only option…
On arrival in France he found his French road atlas was out of date, despite being the AA 2011 edition.  He says the road he wanted didn’t exist so he cycled along the motorway before arriving in Caen.  Although the ferry is billed as going to Caen, it seems Caen itself is 10 miles from the sea.  Martin checked into the Hotel Bristol, grateful for the familiar name.  He arrived on French soil at 9.30pm and was in the hotel for 10.00pm – not bad going.
There is some dull story about insurance and the pre-booked hotel in Cherbourg, his intended destination, but life is too short to bother typing it in. 
Tomorrow he had planned a 100 mile ride to Mayenne from Cherbourg but as he is now in a completely different place he has to start planning again.  He will be travelling through France, the Pyrenees, then down through Spain to meet with Mick playing golf in Malaga – does this mean he has got his golf clubs strapped to the bike?  We await the first photos with anticipation, once they come through on the wire we will stick them in here.

Sent to Coventry - Friday 23/09/2011

Martin is cycling from the UK to Africa.

Billy-no-mates is off again – this time he is cycling from the UK to Africa, apparently it is in his “bucket”.  He is vague about what the bucket is, other than it is sort of “things to do before you die” list.  His came about because he turned 50 and his mid-life crisis drove him to don gaudy lycra outfits and pedal furiously around the Vale of Belvoir on a racing bike. Others afflicted with this bucket problem include Mick McQuilllan who is due to run a marathon and Rich Newsome who is going to cycle the West Coast of America, so watch this space!

You can see Martin's blog of his John O'Groats to Lands End cycle trip with Mick at http://steve33.tripod.com/cycle.
Friday 23 September 2011
Our intrepid pedaller saddled up and left Coventry at 5.00pm - why Coventry we have no idea - waved on his way by well wishing workmates Big Boss Gavin, Will the General Manager and HR managerTracey, the huskie racing chum.  She doesn’t race against the huskies, but attaches them to a sled and shouts “mush” a lot.
Cycling hard, and en route to Wantage and his pre-booked hotel, a distance of 60 miles, he reached Long Itchington before his chain fell off and broke. He had covered about 8 miles.  Undaunted he enlisted the help of a man at the coach company in Long Itchington who turned out to be no use at all so he got in a taxi and went to Halfords in Banbury.
We understand the cycling hard men among you are very dismissive of Halfords and prefer individual, idiosyncratic cycle shops, however, Martin says the Halfords man was great.  Here comes the technical bit:  he straightened the derailleur, shaped some cogs, changed the chain on the gears at the back of the bike and did some other stuff we don’t understand.
Once sorted he rode to Frilford at Wantage, arriving about 9.30pm and fell into bed.